Why is it that most of us find it easier to be kinder to others than ourselves?
A friend tells you about a mistake they made and you genuinely assure them that it's no big deal or a child shares an embarrassment they had at school which seems like the end of the world. Of course it is not and you sweetly assure them that it's just part of learning from our experiences and it's all going to be ok. Think about how much you love your mother, husband or child and how much you don't ever want them to hurt or feel defeated. Now imagine all of that support and admiration for yourself from yourself. I've suggested this exercise to people before and believe it or not, a common response is a chuckle. Why are you laughing? Is it absurd? Does it seem too difficult? Do you feel unworthy or does it sound too much like narcissism?
It's always been my water-sign-style to seek the truth and make sense of things especially when they pertain to our emotions and authenticity. I'm my own experiment and as I continue to connect the dots, uncover hidden truths and heal, I become even more inspired to guide and help others. Reminds me a bit of the Emperor tarot card. He holds a wisdom from experience and provides guidance and support to others with a strong message of: "master yourself and master the world". He doesn't wear his pain like armor but rather, has transmuted it into a deep and grounded empathy.
Here are a few suggestions for strengthening your self-love practice which will provide comfort, integration and infinite empowerment. The requirement is to show up for yourself and with persistence.
1. Forgive yourself. No matter what, but take responsibility to learn from mistakes and improve.
2. Words are Wands. My teacher, Rose, taught me this awhile back and the power of your words have major weight. Speak respectfully and positively to yourself (and others) and believe in what you say. Set yourself up for success rather than failure.
3. Your intuition is real. Try tuning in to what you "want" to do rather than what you "think you should do". Are you following an outdated blueprint for living life? Loving yourself means having the courage to live your life authentically. When you are in alignment with your truth it becomes so much easier to nurture yourself (and others).
4. Stop blaming others. We all have a story and have possibly been mistreated in some way be it by disrespect, neglect, betrayal, abuse etc. but...once we decide to face and process these pains we can begin to let them go and forgive their origins which can free us from endless burden and excuses for being less than our best. Others' reactions to us have nothing to do with who we really are.
5. Celebrate one of your strengths daily. Recognize how far you've come. Remember when you didn't know how to do anything? Show gratitude towards yourself and know that you are already enough.
6. Tune in to your Chakra system. This has been a gateway to understanding and appreciating myself on a deeper level. Chakras are energetic centers within the body that help to regulate all of it's processes from organ function to the immune system, thoughts and emotions. Recognizing which chakras are over and under-active may give you the insight you need to re-balance your energy. For example, an under-active solar plexus chakra steals motivation which may contribute to guilt. The result is weakened heart chakra energy making it harder to show compassion and love towards yourself. Check out the chakra descriptions below and see which ones resonate with you most.
The root chakra is connected the color red and represents fearless security. The sacral chakra is connected to the color orange and represents, emotions, creativity and sexuality. The solar plexus chakra is connected to the color yellow and represents our personal power. The heart chakra is connected to the color green and represents compassion and love. The throat chakra is connected to the color light blue and represents our communication of truth. The 3rd eye chakra is connected to the color indigo and represents our seat of awareness. The crown chakra is connected to a sparkling white light and represents our connection to the divine.
It often trips me out to think I was once a baby. How is that even possible? Who was that person? That little girl was a pure version of myself, open to endless possibilities and not yet conditioned, hurt or jaded. Let us all remember that It's never too late to re-integrate the wonder of being pure, curious, open and fearless. Love You!